Main.... By Richa Vatsyayan

MAIN

Lad lad kar aage aaun main, phir bhi kyun gir jaun main?

Himmat kar phir uth jaun main, or phir se daud lagaun main,

Phir thokar khakar ladkhadaun main, or phir peeche rah jaun main,

Baar baar himmat jutaaun main, aur apni takdeer se lad jaun main,

Par jab sitaron ka sath na paun main, to kya yunhi bikhar jaun main?

Dil se jise paana chahun main, har baar haath aage badhaun main,

Bas choote choote rah jaun main, to kaise dill ko samjhaun main?

Kya yunhi nirash hokar thak kar vahin tham jaun main?

Jo sapna apni saanson me basaun main, use aise kaise bhool jaun main?

Apne sapne ki khatir is duniya se ladd jaun main,

Jo darker tham gayi main yunhi,

To fir Main kaise kahlaun “Main”…

Happy B'day Sis (choti princess :D) 

Time for disc cleanup: time to forgive and forget

Someone hurts you and your immediate reaction (according to Newton’s 3^rd law of action and reaction) is to get back to that person (slap, kick, punch…etc etc..) Sometimes you are lucky enough to get what you want; else the ideas and words (read profanities) clog your mind. And as fishes rise to the surface crowding water surface as you throw some food, similarly these memories emerge with the mention of a name, an incident, or the person himself/herself. 

But in your intention to hurt the other person you actually end up being miffed yourself. You wanna know the reason? Firstly the “damn it I still can’t beat him/her” feeling, secondly all those unhappy thoughts come back to you. Again you end up feeling more miserable. And in a case where that’s exactly what the other Miss/Mr. intended to do, what are you doing? I’ll tell you, you are actually helping them. So before you get irritated and try and get back to me I’ll tell you what I feel should be done to get even. I think you should try and forgive and if that’s not possible then forget. Now before you say/think “ohho what’s new in that”, I would say there is no other way.

Ok simple reasons to support that. Primarily what do you want to do? Get even, right? Haven’t you heard about the saying, “forgiveness is the best revenge”. Well it is absolutely true. By forgiving you are disappointing (big time) the opponent, coz once he/she has hurt you, they would be expecting some more. You are now spoiling their plans. So you can do Oo..la..la and dance while your rival cribs.

Forgiveness is not just limited to revenge. It makes you realize the other person’s point of view. You spare some time and think from their perspective. How long is it too long to hold on to such memories? C’mon people accept the fact that there are better things to store in your long term memory. Why waste that much memory? I tell you such memories are really bulky. So clean up your disc and get rid of the irrelevant. Obviously you would like to remember the pertinent concepts instead of the unnecessary things.

And the best reason for forgiving and forgetting is coz you yourself would feel great. It is like for quite sometimes you have been straining your nerves, or like you are at a place where you are not getting enough air to breathe, and this hot place is draining out the life out of you. After forgiving and forgetting it’s like you your nerves are relaxed, and the pleasant breeze greets you and you feel revitalized.

So for getting that smile back on your face, forgive and forget not just others, but yourself as well for the times, when you have let yourself down. Forget sad memories, forgive people for disappointing you and you will help yourself.

And if you can’t afford the market leader i.e. forgiveness then try forgetting (the next best thing) and that smile on your face would visit you more often. So don’t wait, get started with the disc clean up.

Happy Birthday Paa.. :)

Parents are known to be the first role models for kids, for a girl her father is the strongest (“My Daddy Strongest”) and her mother is the best looking woman on planet. I would call myself truly blessed coz my parents are the best any kid can ever get. There have been times when I have cursed my luck, because of so many (stupid) reasons, and how does my luck retort? It just reminds me of my parents, and I slap my head and say.. I don’t have a right to complain coz I have already been given the world’s best treasure. So I’m one of the luckiest person on this earth (Richa and Adi are the other two) coz I have you and Maa.

And I’m sure it must not have been the easiest task to be the father of someone like me. My God!! How many questions I ask, and still you patiently answer all of them. I know I can be really cranky at times, and how could you bear all those tantrums of mine? Incredible I would say!! This only makes me feel that I’m born in a family of saints. And if its not tantrums then there are my problems that I keep bugging you with. But i have never seen you complain..forget complain, I have not even seen you give an “uff”. In spite of the demanding nature of your job how do you still manage to take care of our priorities?

Paa…  I do not mention it often but you are a truly amazing person. There is so much that I have learnt from you and still have to learn. I have learnt from you to stand by things I believe in. I have seen that you have stood for things that were right, and didn’t care whether the world was with you or not. You have instilled in me to use my own discretion and understanding to decide what is best for me. If I take pride in being independent then the credit goes to you. I have taken all my decisions coz you encouraged me to do so. I know that you are extremely protective about your family, and so I can guess that it must have been really tough for you to maintain this balance, where you shield us from hardships without hampering our independence. The confidence and trust that I have in me and my capabilities is a reflection of the confidence and trust you have in me. There have been times when I have felt like giving up but you have made me keep my faith in myself.

Paa you are the best father anyone can ever have and a gem of a person. All you kids adore you…and your family is exceptionally blessed to have you. We wish you A very Happy Birthday, and on your B’day all I can do is that pray and wish that you have a long and happy life ahead…Love you Paa….

CAN ETHICS BE TAUGHT IN A CLASSROOM??

I’m sitting in a business ethics class and wondering why am I sitting here? Well I don’t have to bang my head for an answer, it is simple, for attendance and hence eligibility for semester-end exams. This opening remark might suggest that I’m against ethics in business, but it’s not that. I just don’t believe that you can teach a person to be ethical over a period of a two credit course.

I have learnt that personality is built over a period of time and cannot be changed unless something radical happens. I wonder what ‘radical’ change sixteen lectures will bring about in a student’s personality.

With due respect to the college management, I think that this classroom teaching of ethics is… ahem useless. It is baffling that a college can even think about something like classroom teaching of ethics and moral values. Ok so before taking the course you are unethical and after sixteen classes…tadaaa…you are morally right and ethical. So people enter like devils (ok fine the petty humans) and after 16 classes move out with a halo over their head. I wonder where is my halo (probably still in the process). And at the end of the course there will be an exam judging whose halo is better, bigger and brighter.

I’m not sure as to what exactly is the purpose of this course? To make students ethical or just for the heck of it. Well if it is the latter then I’m not complaining, but if it is for the former (which should be in ideal scenario), then I have issues.

I’m surprised that the management of the college is totally oblivious to what students feel about the course. Classroom teaching of ethics! We are no more in primary school so that we could be molded accordingly. If this could work then all the satans would turn out to be saints, or semi-saints/semi-satans (depending upon how you see the glass) by teaching them ethics.

I think there are three things that should be clearly understood, first, as we all know the definition of ethics is not the same for all, so no universal code of ethics is possible. Secondly, it’s not possible to change the moral build-up of any one at this age. The most that can be done is that make a less ethical person relatively more ethical. And thirdly, if this change is to be brought about then it can’t be done via classroom teaching. Instead students should be exposed to some social initiatives. As an alternative to teaching through books and power point, it is better to actually let the students witness the plight of the underprivileged. It might just revolve around the philanthropic aspect of ethics; still it will trigger the latent sensitivities of students. Again it will not bring about any drastic transformation, but I’m hopeful of a temporary alteration in their psyches.

There would be a percentage of people who would not be interested in this, but I have seen that most of the people would appreciate it (yeah contrary to the popular belief, the gen Y is not that insensitive), if not in the first instance, then maybe in the second and the third ones. Moreover it will anyways be much more effective than the present method being followed, so worth taking a chance. Of course all this is under the assumption that the purpose of teaching ethics is to make a person more ethical. Otherwise it’s just a matter of passing 16 x 1.45 hours.

THANK GOD FOR A POOR MEMORY

How many times have you cursed yourself for forgetting things? Many times I must say, ask me I happen to forget a lot of things and then its “oh damn! I forgot this, I forgot that.” And don’t even get me started about forgetting formulae and stuff in exams.  For the guys, ask them what happens after forgetting an important date? Oh they are gone…God save them from the ire of the ladies in their lives! So forgetting is a horrible..terrible thing, right?? I don’t think so…I thank my poor memory instead for its ability to forget.

I believe that forgetfulness is a blessing in disguise. I remember I had read somewhere (I forgot where) about R K Narayan saying the same thing. Forgetting is the very wise mechanism designed by nature to help us maintain our sanity, to recover from setbacks and for our betterment. Believe it people; a bad memory is definitely a good asset. Just because of the reason that a person has a bad memory he/she can let go of things and memories that might harm him/her.

A bad memory makes you resilient, you forget failures and begin afresh. If you are in the habit of remembering each and everything, God knows how many bad memories you will still hold on to. You won’t be able to forgive. Actually forgetting is the next best thing to forgiving.It helps in maintaining relationships bringing people closer.

Your bad memory works hard to distract you from the things that trouble you. Ever thought while you had a fight with one of your friend and had decided that now you won’t talk to him/her again, the next day he/she cracks a joke and you forget the quarrel and laugh, this forgetting habit helps breaking the ice. Consider the time when you are really sad about something, and then your cell beeps, you read it’s a funny message and you get that momentary distraction and smile. There are instances when you tried really hard but could not succeed, and fail, imagine what would have happened had you not forgotten those failures and moved ahead, I’ll tell you, you would have never succeeded. This is the power of forgetting takes you from failures to success and still you crib about bad memory. What else you want from it?

So next time don’t curse your poor memory that much, remember the times it saved your sanity.  Now don’t forget that. But of course there are some things that of course you should not forget, NEVER forget what the lady says is important, now that would be suicidal, nothing can save you from that and don't blame me I had warned you. Just forget the things that are painful and unnecessary. We must remember to forget. I really thank God for a bad memory, it has helped me so much thorough out my life.:)

Is it that simple being simple????

Life is complex, people are intricate, past, present, future…uff everything is so difficult….undoubtedly it is so. In this world full of complexities it is hard to find a simple entity, but is it impossible?? I don’t think so, I still believe that there can  be a simple reason to a particular action or deed. Simplicity is a rare commodity but I still believe it’s not extinct.

I have studied complex numbers and even though solving a problem on complex no is definitely very challenging and more satisfying but there can also be a possibility that while you are so busy looking for a complex solution, you completely ignore the concepts of basic math and that is where the key to this riddle lies. Even the most complex looking problems have easy explanation. But the general trend is not to find a simple answer to a complex solution…Oh c’mon that’s too boring, instead what we (I accept I’m no exception to that) do is that we find difficult answers to simple problems. Nopes…2+2 can’t be equal to 4, there has to be something more to it.

Definitely human brain is the most complex creation of nature and even after so much of research done on its functioning; it still remains a black box for scientists (ok ok…lets say grey system). You may know the inputs and you may predict the possible outputs but the working of this system is still not clear (it’s nice I still remember something from what I studied in system identification). We predict what can be the possible motif for this outcome. And most of the times we don’t consider the mundane possibilities, because they do not come in fancy packaging. Also these solutions are rare, probably not found everywhere; still I don’t think that they have stopped manufacturing simple solutions.

I’m not too sure how wise it is to just look out for a complicated answer. Definitely I’m not ‘that enlightened’ a soul to understand that. Complexity is definitely very attractive…and if it is so then who would bother to care for an average looking simplicity?? Oh plzz…simplicity is so common…but is it that common as we perceive it to be?? I don’t think so.. What I feel is that, it’s a grueling task to come up with a simple answer, coz most of the times it’s either a combination of multiple factors which influence the elucidation of a response or the subject is so complex. Simple solutions are not extinct. But whatever it may be it is not simple being simple…so hats off to the rare species who can manage simplicity…

Sea of Hypocrisy

Hypocrites… I guess are one of the most abundant natural resources found in India. Virus and bacteria are probably the only ones above it in the list. Hypocrisy is omnipresent…Oh God !! you have big competition. Where do I look and not find hypocrites?? Nowhere… Well does that include you and me??? Well yeah maybe yes..maybe no…. I’m not being cynical about it but that’s how it is.

It’s only that the level of adulteration differs from one person to another…and so who would you call ‘good’ are the ones who are ‘better’ than the rest. Professional or personal front hypocrisy is pervading everywhere, everything. Educational institutes talk about building the future of students and what do they do? Kill it yeah…brutally murder it..well at least make a good attempt to murder it. If you are strong enough then survive on your own.

A professor of mine had rightly said that these educational institutes are the reflection of the society..if you are an irresponsible student then you are going to become an irresponsible employee and citizen. I guess this funda is not just applicable to students..its applies well to the management as well. The management plays with the future of students in a similar way as the government plays with the future of the citizens of the country. Wow!! What a playful lot of people, except for one tiny difference..the things they are playing are not non living but the dreams, aspirations and hopes of humans..but wait a minute…these things do not exist for such people.

At office…huge HR concepts are applied  to encourage employees but how many times do you come across a boss who is not ready to take credit of a junior’s work?? Not many times.. anyways backstabbing and all again is seen everywhere..please do whatever but don’t forget to keep a smile on your face…coz we are one happy family. (ohh gimme a break!!)

We see people around saying we so care for you darling..muah..muah…(this much sweetness…save the calories please!!) but what do they actually do?? Just give them one reason for your happiness and their sole purpose in life is to find ways to counter that..(wonder where did all that saccharine go??)

I don’t think I’m good enough to talk volumes about the political system and bureaucracy in the country. Naah baba I’m not that qualified!!! They have redefined the word hypocrisy!!! I guess I’m too amateur to write about the topic itself. It’s far too vast for me..mind boggling I tell you.. so here I am, I accept my incompetence to define or analyse this topic… I just say that this sea of hypocrisy is too vast and I see no piece of land amidst it.